The Presence of Luxury

Last night was a fantastic night. We were invited over to dinner at this girl Sarah's house. She's very awsome and her sister is coming in a few weeks... That'll be funny too because she has NO idea what she is getting into.
Anyway, she cooked some great food: artichokes, which I havn't had in a loooong time, an apple and onion stuffed chicken, and this fatastic muchroom pumpkin curry. We brought over some wine and I made a coffee cream and raisin pie. (I bake a lot now, by the way, especially on Sunday afternoons).
So, we drank, we laughed,we sat.
At the end of the evening, me and Sarah had a converstaion that went in circles, but that was the only place it could go.

She was here for a year working with "World Teach" a good idea that doesn't always play out so well here in the Marshalls, at least thats our opinion, due to some, SOME, American volunteers that are just too into their Americanness and their way of doing things. They are here only to teach and some are not so opne to learning, which I think is the first and main failure of any international volunteer, missionary, or any other type of similar expedition. It HAS to be a mutually growing experience, or else someone is going to thinktoo much of themselves. Anyway, after her program she decided to stay for another year, working under contract for WUTMI, which is an NGO like org that works for women's issues. They recently put together a great documentary about violence against women in Marshallese (one of 2 or maybe 3 things in the language on TV). SHe stayed because she wanted to and not because she thought they NEEDED her, which I think is fault number 2 of international volunteers and etc. Somehow, especially if you were part of a program, you MUST realize you personally are not desperately needed, and somehow the people and culture cannot and should not continue without you. Can you make an impact? yes. can you be remembered? Possibly. Can you even form some life long relationships? hopefully you'll get that close to some people. But no one really NEEDS you, and they WILL survive, and do well without you. Someone will come after you, and if not, they'll manage as they have for a few thousand years.

Anyway, I digress again... She works with a woman named Daisy Momotaro, considered a model Catholic in a lot of ways, who runs WUTMI. She works hard, but she has her flaws, as everyone does. Yet, despite all the good work she does for women and their rights in this country, she also gets manicures and pedicures all the time, takes the 5000 health package to the phillipines, and lives very very comfortably. There are a gaggle of other examples of people who do the samething in all ranges of wealth, from Oprah to Daisy, the question then remains: Where does it become hypocritical? Where does it become not so impressive that they help people?

Quickly we both acknowledged that we would be no different. And so we went in circles. IT is a question which I cannot, and she simply cannot answer. I also wondered because some of the examples I had that seemed better ended up in the same place. The guy I heard about from Chris at IV in Claremont that madelike 150 thousand a year or something and gave most of it to charity, was annually audited, lived in a low income neighborhood off of liek 30 or 40 thousand a year... even he, as far as I understand, may live on what he needs, but I don't think he lets himself ever live off of an amount of money where he WORRIES about not having enough to eat or worries about not having enough of anything. He gets what he needs and no more, but he never has to think about just that, what he needs, which a lot of people DO have to think about. Maybe he does, I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't thinkhe does.

So, maybe the idea is a model life in emulation of the great religions leaders: like Buddha, like Mohammad, like Jesus did, and like Jesus said over and over and over... to drop EVERYTHING and follow him. Maybe that is the ideal, but are all the attempts that don't meet it not as valuable?

I have no idea...but what I think right now is this:
What matters is that you care, that you are aware, that you ARE doing SOMETHING. Maybe its just a bandaid, maybe not, but that you see the wounds in humanity and you try to treat them. OK, Daisy takes the health package to the Phillipines and gets the best possible medical care, she doesn't deserve it for what she does, but she does DO what she does. She could just as easily choose to take her luxuries and turn a blind eye to the places in her country that need help and healing. I think that counts for a lot.

I don't know in life how much money I will make, and I will most likely give what I don't need to others in some way. But will I ever just trust God enought o watch my back? I don't know... right now I have placed tangible security and comfort before God, I have placed money before God, and I trust what it brings in the world. Even if I just use it for what I need, and the occasional but not overpowering wants, I still abide in the house of the all american dollar...

Monetary security is my golden calf, is it yours?