A little bit much maybe

It's been a while, and its hard to trly be able to regurgitate to you all the events of the following last months without not being able to really do justice to it all, but I'll start with some highlights:

1) Adding Insult to Injury
My Ipod crashed and burned. I have been musicless for a few months now and I am sad for the many joys that come from music and from being able to use some of my songs in class for various reasons.
BUT, right after my Ipod broke... it got stolen... who the hell steals a broken Ipod? It was reported to me under tha table that one of the students did it, and angered by its non-functionality.. threw it in the ocean. So it is another small bit of my life that the great blue has swallowed. I miss not the machine, its no big deal, I will replace it someday in the future... its just the injury of the saltwater, and the insult that I may be a bad enough teacher to incur a student's fingery wrath...

2)Facing a New World Order
The new JVs arrived in a splay of flashing colors, whirling airplanes, and crashing expectations on all sides. Crashing both into the mountains of beauty and goodness and into the dark voids of chaos. Change is in the air, and unlike last year where the 2nd years yearned for change in many ways, we yearned for stability. But, all things end and new things start, so we're trying to figure out how to live.
We're so far overcome:
differences in expectations of what JVI is all about
long, long, long awkward silences
skirting around major issues
not really enjoying each other
We still must overcome:
issues of honesty
not really having actual conversations
tiredness

3) Catnip
We got a cat. His name is buttons, Edgar, Shiva, and Mujik.
He's a pain in the ass.
First he cried, now he bites.
The point was to get rid of the 30+ rats we had living in our roof... which brings us to the next point:

4) We have no roof.
Everything is soaked.
Theyre fixing it.
Everything smells like it got wet with water filtered through rat crap.
Yummy!
Me and Aaron and living in Bata's house.

and last but not least 5) applications, the future, and you

I just finished sending my Fulbright application today and it wasn't completely complete, dispite my own personal overworking and triple working to get it done on time. I spent all my money, neglected my community and my students, and stayed up until all hours of he night for months really...
I requested that they understand my circumstances and allow direct delvery of my recommendations to them.

I would find it quite entertaining and intruiging if they didn't, since they require of their applicats flexibility and adaptablity to unforseen situations. Wouldn't it be quite hypocritical of them not to provide the same attitude they require?
I think I have noticed recently that this is a common trend in America... and it may be everywhere in the world, why do we all require things of others that we are not willing to provide ourselves? We ask people to be on time, but we're not. We ask people to be frank, but we're apssive agressive. We ask people to be honest, but we keep important htings to ourselves, We ask people to be responsible, to know themselves, to know what they want, to know what to do.. but most fo the time we are just as lost and dazed as those we crtiticize.
I've been thinking about what I require of my students. It is similar to what was required of me. But they don't really do it. thing is: NEITHER DID I!
So why should I expect it? Is it lowering my standards to require less or different things? Or is it being realistic and fair?

I havn't made a decision. Obviously, in terms of faith... God in no relgion I have met so far lowers his standards to say, "hey, realistically, this might be too hard for you..." but simultaneously... God in every religion I have experienced so far lives up to his own standards...
Jesus definately didn't slack off on living up to his own standards.
Jesus reminds me of Socrates, or maybe Socarates reminds me of Jesus... I don't know. But I hope in the end of my days, when I am old and grey or in my 30s and destined to go, I will be able to hold up my standards in a court of law and say no... this is what I stand for, while I have been open to new views and ideas and reworked my thoughts accordingly, this is still what i stand for. I have not danced around the bush of thought, I have not wishy washed my way through this existance... and, in the end, I am willing to have you sentence me to my death before I betray myself.
If I can do that, I can require whatever I want from people... because I require it of myself.