The Quarter Life: Careers

Where would I even begin to define how my career and my views on the divine mix and match, or don't.
I don't know how to talk about both at the same time. So I'll deal with film first, then God in that.
Oh, I almost forgot, if you are interested in the original version of the Quarter Life and not just the dark-alley island copy, then check out the dynamic Aaron and Bryce Duo.

So, Film and its place in my "career":
I had a really hard time thinking about this so I looked up the word career in the dictionary and it said this:
"an occupation or profession, esp. one requiring special training, followed as one's lifework"
If that is the case, then my career is filmmaking. I passionately believe in the medium as a form of communication, education, and entertainment. I’ve struggled with it for a long time because I have wrestled with doubts about whether or not filmmaking makes any contribution to greater society and what my place in the artistic world should and will be. Hopefully, I can dedicate my life to films, both documentary and narrative, which help to amplify the voices of people around the world fighting to be heard. I aspire to make films that remind us of our universal duty to embrace and help each other as a worldwide human community, and that place me personally in situations where I can accompany those that lack what my life has blessed me with. Through my short life I’ve seen film be a mean which can lead to powerful ends. I have seen film used to promote local culture and to destroy it, to bring people together and to set them apart, to produce debate and to produce animosity. Through doing what I love, I would like to build a more intimate and direct connection with people and their cultures, I would like to solidify my foreign language skills, and I would like to, in a small way, repay the kindnesses and gifts that have been given me by so many people I am so removed from. I hope to make films that entertain, educate, and inspire youth to action. I hope to come to a more full understanding of how western culture has impacted the world, how the world has impacted me, and how we can achieve equilibrium, if not on a large scale level than on the level of everyday relationships.
That is why I want to make films.
BUT,
(and on to God)
the dictionary also said this:
"a person's progress or general course of action through life or through a phase of life, as in some profession or undertaking"
If that is the case, then my career is not filmmaking at all. Filmmaking is just a part of it, at least right now as I see and hope it to be. But if I am to say that I am a deist, that I believe in an all pervading divine force that not only overpowers the universe but also cares about me personally, in other words, if I am to let God be God, then I cannot limit God. To say that I need to be in full control of what that course I call my life is to take is to say that God can't handle it. That God is too small for me.
My career, in the cheesiest words I can place on it, is to discern what God wants from my life. To give up the need for control and to trust in that divinity I profess to believe in.
Now that can sound down right stupid in some ways. Only, though, if giving up control to you means giving up action. I still have to be responsible for my own destiny, I still have to act adn commit to the choices I make everyday. But, what is behind that action is sincerely seeking to understand what God wants me to do, and to do that, even if it may not seem like the best financial option, or the smartest "career move."
How do I, you, any of us discern God's will?
Well, who the eff knows? I don't.
But there is something that, at least right now, is stearing me in the right direction. That is the idea that God is always talking to us (no I didn't get that from "Conversations with God", I find that guy a bit creepy, even though I agree with some of the things he says). There is a whisper, a still voice, a constant connection to the divine found deeply inside each of us. SO, digging deeply, being honest and real with ourselves (which is usually the person it is hardest to be honest with!) we can hear it. If we are true to who God created us, to our talents and strengths, to pursuing what we love and what frustrates us, and we constantly listen for how we can shape that person into someone dedicated to love and to others, THAT is discerning God's will for us.
It's not about forcing ourselves into a mold created for everyone 2 thousand years ago in a desert, but that 2 thousand years ago in a desert someone told us that we each have our own mold, and figuring out what that original, true version of ourselves is is discovering God. Now, some anti-deists might say, well finding your true self is not finding God, its just figuring out what makes you happy. Is that possible, is it possible that it is not God?
Sure. of course its possible.
But I see it this way. God, to me, is love.
So if you find your true self, the one that leads you to real happiness, then you will love yourself. That is God.
If you live like you were meant to live, if you live your true self, then you will dedicate your talents and full self to other people, to empowering others, to engaging others, to respect, and kindness, and compassion, and trust, and honesty, and joy, etc, etc, etc. So, you will truly love others.
That is God.
If you sincerely love others and yourself, others will love you.
That is God.
Maybe its all crap. Sure. Maybe none of that is a greater divine power and its all just cuddly wuddly chemicals. If I were to deny that possiblity I would be a fool.
But, Belief is a choice, and right now, all the evidence that shows me that that purity of love is inside all of us, and connects all of us, leads me to the conclusion that it is something greater than cuddly-wuddly chemicals reactions.
Right now, as a personal choice, and as a career, I choose God.
and, if the discernment system is all wrong, well I hope Thomas Merton was right when he said that the very act of trying to please God is what is pleasing to God.
and if the entire theistic system is wrong, well, then I'll do my best spending my life trying to make myself happy in the deepest ways possible, dedicating my life to the service of others, and pushing myself to love more for all the wrong reasons.
Dammit, I'm really going to regret that... NOT.