I miss not thinking

I miss not thinking about:
cultures
shopping
food
money
dishes
keeping tabs
other people
work
kids
water
more water
salt
excercise
balance
God
americans
american things
american ideas
american mindsets
american americanisms
i miss thinking about:
myself
no sun
cows
getting up at 4:30am
goats
navin daaju
uttam bhaai
going down to the river
puja
shiva and saraswati
making roti wrong
my mom
my fake mom
good colombian coffee in the morning
rufus the dog that thinks he's a person
dad not smoking
regular amounts of alcohol
cheese
tibetan refugees
buddha all around me
mandalas
red and maroon and yellow
tika in the morning before school
goats
and more goats
dirt roads
the same food everyday
leeches but no mosquitos
i'm glad that now i get to think about:
coconuts fallin on my head and me dying
12A and B
9A and B
renting or not renting independant movies
bubsi
kan
to jaluit on a boat?
ocean waters
coral
hiking on water
will sandy le me use the internet
kava with luke
dancing being funny
ice candy
turkey neck...umm ::shudder::
baba ao im mamma ao
times the kids are around
times the kids are GONE
colombia as a home
nepal and india as a comfort zone
europe as a series of fantastic memories
the marshalls as intimately connected with my life

I have but to be grateful.
for the things i love, and for the things i utterly despise... not that i may keep them, but that i may accept them and understand them in my life.
that i see why they are there
i have yet to seriously think about God too much
i should probably stop stalling
but He knows when it will be time.
right?

I miss my mom
I miss fighting with Aaron about random things, and a nice cold beer while talking about girls and arrested development and punk music
I miss getting jumped by Alyssa
and jacob...lol
I miss bob, erik, and devon, and nate tate
i miss random scripps girls... tho megan is quite a main point...
i miss grace and sarah, and meredith, and the rest of the girls.
i miss alex, jess and julie... always simultaneously uplifiting and depressing
i miss my brother.
i miss john fahy and random lunches and bars.
i miss being a student.
i miss andy, and sarah, and MAAARK!!
i miss molly and arielle and michelle...
i miss TENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss navin, subas, rudra, rabin, and basante daajuharu...

i like that i have so much to miss.
means i have a lot of good friends and a lot of good memories to keep adding to.

its sad to forget a friend. not everyone has had a friend. So i never shall.

Running, as fast as u can

very quick update:

I am great... I heart the marshalls
living in community is getting to me a lot
I wish I could live with a Marshallese family.
I'm not too cut out to living with the amazing amount of hangups and rules Americans have for themselves.
This experience has so far furiously pointed out the part of me that can never be completely American, the part of me that is intensely Colombian, intensely "third world."
That is a part I've never loved so much until now.

It's wierd, but sometimes I think I'm too laid back for this ordeal.
Yea... ME... TOO LAID BACK...
it can get stressful for ridiculous reasons.

More Pictures soon.
More rants on existance to come.
Love you All....

Majuro...

To be very honest...
there's a lot about this place I have started to love...
I think I just needed to let go of some resentment I had
which I said I got rid of, but really didn't
I still want to be in Nepal
But... learning marshallese will not make me forget nepali
so my marshallese is coming along
its mildly hard
easy language
but i have to live with americans instead of with marshallese so
its hard
and yes, i know i can go there and elsewhere later
but it sucks because I want to be there NOW
but i'm here... now...
and loving this place and these people will never take away the love I have for nepal
i think about it a little everyday
but i have to live here
and to be honest
I've started to like a lot of things about it here.
It's sad that if I were in Nepal 2 years would seem too short.
but here they seem like forever...
yet, hopefully when I leave I'll say
"wow, that was way too short"
but hopefully i'll also say... "ok off home for a month and then off to visit Katie and Sean!"
Lol.
The marshalls... no matter what happens... will always have a very cozy place in my heart