the most poignant from Melissa's CD

The mike adapted version...

I don't wanna take another vow
and i don't wanna stay and hang around
and i don't wanna tell anyone else about my life

but I don't wanna be the one who chokes
and is the butt of all their litte jokes
I don't want God to leave me alone.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

Post and pictures on "THE cross walk" where, the actual... yes, yes, the ACTUAL cross of JC came to the small pacific island of Majuro.
(very honest positive feelings exist on my part towards this event, which further allow me the ability to mock it openly in a sensitive but utterly inappropraite way, so while it may include some hilarious interludes and mockage... do await some teary moments of genuine heartfell expression on my part... be forewarned)

Post and pictures on "Biblical Bowling" the high and low of my time as a volunteer attached to a religious institution... we, as a foolish and awkward community, exemplified the extreme sterotype of "Friday night Crazy Christian fun" in a lovely 1 hour package.

and last but not least:
on a serious note...
those of you who pray, please pray for Dave O'Donnell, whose father just passed in an accident, and whose mother is injured but recovering....
Keep them in your prayers, if you know Dave and read this tell him, despite it being a long time since I've seen him, I wish I could be there to you know... be there. but my prayers are with him, and so are those of my comunity.
And to those who don't pray... send a condolance and a wishful thought into the ether for him...

with that...
be back soon

Mucha mierda a caso de nada

...OK

So how did that long load of verbal turned into cyber-literal vomit have to do with "Much Ado About Nothing" which is the play I saw even though i keep saying it was "As you Like It"
well...

I guess the final realization, that I had...
and when I say realization, I mean epiphany... I mean gutteral, supereme, passionate, and bit bit by bit all consuming explosion of p-ure truth inside the very core of my internal ethereal structure...
was a little anti-climactic, seeing as it was something a bit obvious, to me at least.

I want to tell stories.
Movies most likely and theatre and the like.
That is what I feel like my life is for.

Which to a certain degree makes me feel pretty useless.
I mean, you know... in the grand scheme of things. In the big picture of human achievement, progress, and divine relations...
Yet, not...
I gave it some thought, and I thought about my life, and the life of some of the people I know... and I thought, how nice is the 3/4 of a teaspoon of sugar that is the universally known collection of ficticious BS that we have in our heads. Some long term, some not...
But, as I sat with Jaqueline and Kraus the other day in teh faculty room, guiltily rewatching the "Dancha" video by the Pussycat Dolls that we fenaigled into the school computers...Jaqueline goes... "Wow, that look is really Lara Croft."

I thought later... how nice is it that soemthing so trivial and insignificant as a non-real oversexualized uberexagerated female action adventure videogame female, is in the public consciousness to the point where me, an oddball monkey from NYC, and JQ, for all intents and purposes, a farmgirl from Iowa... can relate for a few seconds on the mutual recognition of said trivial and insignificant character.

ANd what about those stories that do live in the public forever?

I probably will never create one of them, but i will enjoy my life... and if i do help to bring one of those into the mental real... than so be it, and if i don't... well i lived my life... no?

kasari timilaai manparchha

I just came from the MIHS (Marshall Islands High School) performance of "AS you like it"
Yes, you heard right... for one dollar 3 hours of shakespeare.
80% in marshallese and 20% in English... the marshallese parts are WAAAY better.
I've never been a huge fan of this particular comedy but a combination of 2 front rows full of kids utterly enthrawled with one of the few, if not the only, play they will ever see, and high school kids famed for being unhelpably shy and totally lacking of vision, imagination and commitment to follow through with putting on a whole play.... together, contradicting so many things you hear about Marhallese people, turned the simple and somewhat generic Shakespearean comedy into an island style extravaganza worthy of watching over and over...

I was sitting down last week... pretty much all of it, listening to my slowly rusting and rotting Ipod, thinking about who I am, and what I want to do with my life, and all taht other stereotypical load of bullshit that you think about as a 20 something year old. Yes, I admit my foolish weakness... but I was there going... Alright Mike, who are you? what do you want to do with yourself?

And as my Ipod froze for the 6 billionth time, i slowly came to realize that I am happy here, as i was in Nepal, as I was in NY, as I was in colombia...
I have never really really been unhappy... and that blew my mind. So much time we spend thinking about what little things bug us, bother us, or we wish were different... and we don't stop and realize that maybe the reason we're so picky is because we're so happy with so much of it all... of eerythign around us.

So I thought... what made me happy... and I realized that I need 2 things in life... this is decision number one... who am I and wha tdo i want to do with myself...

I am a person that wants to be around people... people who care about each other and look out for each other... you can call it family, community, friends, all of the above or communist tendencies, but I'm done with that whole All American Individual bull... EFF the individual... community here i come. with all teh sacrifices, all teh frustrations, all teh yelling and kicking and screaming. all the lies, and tears, and laughs, ad hugs, and smiles, and warmth, and agreement, all the passion, and dishwashing anger, and rodents, and trash, and chores, and wanting alone time but never getting it. all the ups and downs in teh rollercoaster of people being with people ad wanting to be with each other no matter what because you mean something to each other... that is the boat I want to be on.

Two..

I want to be involved with teenagers, or kids, or adults... with people who need someone to be there because too many people are worried about the AAI (all american Individual) and not looking at those around them that need a helping hand. I'm pretty much done with the whole "but they'll use the money to drink... or for drugs" their life sucks... give them an EFFing berak and maybe try and forming a relationship with some people and seeing what little you can do, person by person. NO, i'm not developing a savior complex... there are peopel who don't want to be helped, there are people who use drugs and alcohol and their life sucks because of that, not the other way around... but tehres so many people in the world that just need someone to listen to them, someone to hold their hand, someone to make them laugh, someone to play cards or checkers with once in a while.... thats all... no stopping hunger, no eliminating economic poverty... those are long term goals, but in the day by day, how about visiting some of those elderly folk whose children desided they were too much of a burden, even though they managed to put up with them for 20 years while they were being raised... talk about a burden...

TO BE CONTINUED.... (and connected to "As you Like it")